Coach Yourself Like a Pro

Recently I was speaking with a friend about success and overcoming life’s problems. We were sitting at my desk and I had my computer open to where you could see the contents of my thumb drive that I carry. He noticed “Matt’s Daily Confessions” and questioned me about what is on this file.

My Answer to him was “everyone needs to coach themselves up in the morning”. I went on to explain that there are areas in my life that I am working on becoming better. Matt’s Daily Confession is a list of scriptures that speak to those areas I want to improve.  Every morning I read this list to help me renew my mind, think better about myself and improve in the area’s which need to be developed and strengthened.

coach yourself 1024x682 Coach Yourself Like a Pro

 

I believe everyone should have a plan of self-improvement.  Just like in sports when you need encouragement and motivation, the coach gives you an inspirational talk. With that same concept, here are four steps that anyone can take to coach themselves like a pro.

1.  Identify

Like anything in life, we have to know what the issues are before we can find the solution. Take some time to identify areas that need improvement or areas you’re struggling in.

Questions to ask:

  • Do I struggle with money
  • Do I lose my temper easily
  • Have I let myself go and need to get into shape
  • Do I need to forgive and let go of hurts
  • Am I addicted to something

I would recommend focusing on just a few things at a time. Don’t beat yourself up, instead coach yourself up.  We all can improve; perfection is not what we are aiming for, but growth.

2.  Asking

 Now that you have identified the problems or issue, the next step is to ask questions.

  • Ask yourself, do I really want to make this change.
  • Am I willing to stick with it
  • What will it be like once I improve in this area
  • What if I don’t improve in this area
  • Is there a pastor, friend or loved one that can I be accountable to

These are just a few types of questions you can ask. The whole goal of this exercise is to get focused and committed. This is not a onetime quick fix; this becomes a new routine in your life for the rest of your life. I don’t want to give you the impression that this happen suddenly, but rather gradual.

3.  Seeking Solutions

From the beginning of this article I mentioned that I use scriptures to create my positive confessions.

 Tools to Use:

For example, let’s assume I struggle with anger; I do a Google search on “bible verses about Anger Management

The results come back with 51 bible verses about anger management. Out of those 51 verses, I then find about 2-3 scriptures that I relate to.

  •  James 1:19-20 Know this, my beloved brothers; let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
  • Proverbs 16:32 Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit then he who takes a city 

4.  Implementing the Solution

I believe Nike has captured the best saying “JUST DO IT”. When is the best time to start this? NOW! There is no time like the present; start as soon as you can.

 A Coach Will Tell You:

  • Just swing
  • Put the puck on the net
  • Pass the ball
  • Get in the game and something will happen.

 Game Plan:

 Create a confession sheet to read daily!

 Confessions to Overcome Anger:

  •  I am quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. I produce the righteousness of God in my life by how I act. James 1:19-20
  •  I am slow to anger and I am strong, because I trust God I rule my spirit well.  Proverbs 16:32
  •  “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than anything on which it is poured. –Mark Twain “

 Write these confessions on a 3 X 5 index card or keep them on your Smartphone.  Don’t forget to set the reminder and read them out loud to yourself.

Doing these four simple steps can help anyone coach themselves like a pro. I have used these simple steps over and over to help myself to overcome many issues and struggles in my life.

I would love to hear from you, and find out what things you have done to find success in your life.

 

Posted in Life, Overcoming

Little Known Ways To Defeat Loneliness and Depression

Defeat Loneliness and Depression

I have been in the people business for over 20 years and one thing is for sure, most people will experience loneliness and depression. Loneliness and depression can sneak up on us from negative life experiences and events such as:

  • Losing a loved one
  • Losing a job
  • Relationship problems 
  • Financial struggles 
  • Sickness or disease 
  • Family member sick 
  • Empty nest syndrome

I bet we can agree on one thing, to defeat loneliness and depression, there is no one size fits all approach. With that in mind, I complied a list of sayings and quotes from authors that offer really good ideas and suggestions on how to defeat Loneliness and Depression.

Ways to Defeat Loneliness and Depression

  • The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite and alone with the heavens, nature and God.  - Anne Frank, 1929-1945 Dutch Schoolgirl Diarist

  • If you want people to be glad to meet you, you must be glad to meet them and show it  - Johann Von Goethe, 1749-1832 German Poet and Writer

  • I will tell you what I have learned for myself. For me a long, five or six mile walk helps. And one must go alone and every day.  - Brenda Ueland, 1891-1986 American Writer

  • Gardening, even if it’s only a few pots on a balcony, is a wonderful antidote to anxiety. So, I find, is a long hard walk. And here’s a special tip: try finding a place where you can lie on your back and look, for a long time, at the sky. The sky is always there, free for everyone  -Pamela Bone Australian Journalist 

  • Nobel deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression.   – Dobie Smith, 1896-1990 English Writer 

  •  Drink tea and forget the world’s noises - Chinese Sayings 

  • Be gentle with yourself. If you will not be your own unconditional friend, who will be? If you are always playing an opponent and you are also opposing yourself – you are going to be outnumbered.  -Dan Millman American Writer 

I cannot help but to think the key to enjoying life and overcoming is to get moving.  Don’t dwell on all the past or what has happened to you.  Going for a walk and drinking a cup of coffee at my neighborhood coffee shop is one of my favorite things to do. Whenever I talk to someone who is struggling with life, I always suggest to them to go and help someone else. Something amazing happens when you stop focusing on you, somehow the answer you needed will miraculously appear before you.

 

If you have any other suggestions that have helped you in the past to defeat loneliness and depression please share.

MCSig1 Little Known Ways To Defeat Loneliness and Depression

Posted in Life, Overcoming

The Need For Leaders To Lead Well In 2013 And Beyond

leading-well-in-2013

When a leader leads well there is growth, excitement, creativity, and a sense of accomplishment. When there is poor leadership the proverbial ship starts to sink and there is much loss, frustration, discouragement, and discontented.

John Maxwell says, “Everything rises and falls on Leadership”.  I had never really grasped the meaning of that statement until I had become a leader myself.  I remember the first thing that flashed through my head was that I needed to lead others well and help them to get to the other side safely.  Poor leadership sinks ships, hurts others along the way, and causes team players to become discouraged and dismayed.  People will follow a leader who can lead strong and well, who has confidence even when steering the ship through storms.

In preparing myself to become a better leader, I decided to make a list of the do’s and don’ts of leadership. I thought I would share this list with you in hopes to stir up with in you ideas of how to be the best leader you can be in your career, your home or even your church in 2013 and beyond.

  •  It’s not about You:   Leadership is not about a title, recognition or being able to tell people what to do.  As a leader, it is my job to champion the cause by creating a healthy environment where growth, excitement, creativity and accomplishment are prevalent. I get to set the temperature for my team by how I act, communicate and treat them.
  •  Bringing out the best in People: To lead well I will need to first gain the trust of those I am in the trenches with. How, by making my words work for me. The words I speak can either motivate and excite or they can dampen, hinder and produce fear. As I communicate with my team, I want to always be casting a vision before them and helping them also with their vision of the future.

Four Attitudes That Will Sink A Ship

To avoid sinking the ship and hurting people I need to remember the following:

  1. Do not allow yourself to get into pride thinking your way is the only way or the best way. Listen to your team, they also have a voice and ideas that will help steer the ship. This will create development and growth with in the team.
  2. Press in and fight, you never want to fall into complacency.  Always be looking for ways of improvement and how to be more effective.  Don’t allow your team to think this is the only way…..this is how we have always done it.
  3. Communication is a major key for every leader, do not be afraid to share the good and the bad with your team.
  4. Selfishness has no place in leadership, you don’t have to get all the credit. Be the biggest giver of encouragement and resources, share your knowledge.

Helping People When Times Are Tough

When times are tough and the future is not looking to good, communicate with your team, be proactive in your approach.  Do not let fear and worry cloud your decisions as you remember the Golden Rule, “Treat others as you would want to be treated.”  There will be times when tough decisions need to be made, this is the time when leading well is very critical, do not coward down or be afraid.  If a team member is causing problems, handle it by praying and talking to them, do what is right and necessary.

As the world continues to change, one thing remains constant…. the world is in need of leaders to lead well. I realize now that being a leader is more about the purpose then about the paycheck!  You can pay anyone to do a job, but a good leader not only accomplishes the purpose but brings the people with him…..it’s not just about finishing the task.

MCSig The Need For Leaders To Lead Well In 2013 And Beyond

Posted in Leadership

Six Steps To Answered Prayer

Man Praying

Albert Einstein said, insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Have you ever wondered why we keep doing the same things over and over and never get the results we want?  If I was to keep banging my head against a wall and then continue to complain that my head hurts the simple answer would be to stop hitting my head against the wall.  In life we hear or see someone doing a thing a certain way and figure that is what we need to be doing.  Many times we approach our relationship with God the same way. Just as a parent has a unique relationship with each child, no one person relates to God in the same way.

When it comes to the subject of prayer, there are many different beliefs on praying effectively. Today I would like to look at the subject of prayer and outline six steps to answered prayer based on biblical principles.

 

Learning how to pray effectively is one of the most important things a believer can ever do in their Christian walk. If you and I are to fulfill our purpose and density for our lives we must understand how to pray effectively.

Let’s start by taking a look at John 15:7

John 15:7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

Notice the word you, is found five times in John 15:7

  1. If you abide in me
  2. My words abide in you
  3. You shall ask
  4. What you will (want, desire)
  5. It shall be done for you

It sounds like God is trying to tell us something in this verse about effectively communicating with Him in prayer. Many may think that God is just going to take care of things when actually God is waiting on us (you) to take steps toward Him.

Let’s look at another scripture that gives us more instruction as how to approach God in prayer.

1 John 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that, if we ask any thing according to His will, He heareth us:

Before we look at the six steps to answered prayer, let’s look at a few reasons why we may not be praying effectively.

 Common mistakes for unanswered prayer

  1.  Not establishing our prayer’s on a scriptural foundation (unscriptural prayer). Our prayers do not line up with the bible ….the word of God.
  2. The request is unnecessary as it is already promised to you in the bible and all you need to do is act on what the word of God says.

The following is a list of SIX biblical steps to answered prayer.

1. Know what you want from God and find scriptures that promise you those things.

Matthew 6:31-32 Therefore do not worry, saying, what shall we eat or what shall we drink or what shall we wear? For after all these things do the Gentiles seek? For your heavenly Father knows that you have need of all these things.

Find scripture to back your case as you go to God in prayer.

James 1:6  But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man supposes that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

2. Believe what you prayed you will receive from God.

Mark 11:24 Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

You will receive when you believe and pray according to the word.

3. Control your thought life.

2 Corinthians 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalted itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Don’t allow your thought life to run wild. Take control by capturing those wrong imaginations and replacing them with what God’s word says. Remove those wrong images, doubts, things allowed in through TV and music that do not add to your faith. Don’t let you mind just do what it wants to do.

 4. Constantly think on the scriptures that promise what you have requested.

Proverbs 4:20-22 My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart; For they are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh.

When circumstances are contrary to what we have prayed, we need to remind ourselves of what the written word of God says.

5. Use every opportunity to rehearse the goodness of God.

Philippians 4:6  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;

Hebrews 13:15  By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.

 6. Our conversations should line up with our prayer requests to God.

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

James 1:3-7 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man supposes that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

I would urge you to take some time and find the scriptures that back up what you need, and as you follow these six steps let us know the great things God is doing in your life.

MCSig1 Six Steps To Answered Prayer

 

 

If you are looking for some good resources on prayer that can help you pray according to the word here is a list of resources we recommend.

 

 

Posted in Faith

004 Faith Devotion – Resting

Rest

SCRIPTURE:  Matt 11:28-30  Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. [29] Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. [30] For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Define Rest

Before we get into this devotion, I feel it is important that we define the word rest. When you think of the word rest there are many ideas and philosophies that come to mind.

REST:
1. The act or state of ceasing from work, activity, or motion; quiet

2. An instance or period of relaxing or ceasing to engage in strenuous or stressful activity

We now can ask the question; was Jesus talking about not working or was he talking about resting from hard strenuous labor?

I believe the answer is a for sure NO!  Jesus was not talking about either of these definitions in His written word.  The rest Jesus was referring to was the resting of your soul from weariness and the frustrations of life.  Rest works by us trusting in God to provide in the midst of lack and disappointments. We were never meant to carry heavy burdens that cause us to be weary, instead we are to trust in His promises that are written in His word. Faith (resting) is not toiling in our own strength’s, toiling is to work extremely hard with much difficulty and little results.  Resting in His promises brings peace and joy in the midst of heavy burdens and troubles. The Word (bible) is God’s strength that is working on our behalf.

Have you ever been between a rock and a hard place before?  It seems like everything around you is falling apart, no one understands what you are facing and it seems like no one cares?

If you are breathing and reading this, then I bet you have been there.  God never intended for us to figure this thing out on our own. He wants to help us in life.

How do we allow God to help us in life?

1. We must come to Jesus

He is a gentleman, He will not force himself on you, and He will not make you do anything against your will.   You have a choice to come to Him.  It’s your choice to choose Jesus.

2. Take His yoke

Become a student submitted to His ways, learn the things that Jesus did and how he spoke to people. Jesus was always humble and gentle at heart, yet He was not a weakling.

3. His yoke or ways are easy to bear

God will never tell you to do something that you cannot do. He equips you with His strength, empowers you with His love so that you may go forward on a firm footing. He will always direct you if you ask Him.

 

Conclusion: John 10:10 (NLT) says; “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.  My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”

This is not a time to run away and bury our heads in the sand hoping one day everything will work out. Now is the time that we need to rise up and come to Jesus. Let’s begin trusting Him with our lives and learn how to rest in His promises. We can learn to experience God’s rest in our lives by applying these simple steps coming to Jesus and learning His ways.

Psalm 143: 10 ~ Teach me to do your will, for you are my God.  May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.  (NLT)

Joshua 1:8-9 ~ “Study this Book of Instruction continually.  Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it.  Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command – be strong and courageous!  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (NLT

Posted in Faith

What is Leadership and Why is it Important

what is Leadership

If you were to Google the word leadership, you would find over 536,000,000 web pages with information on the importance and the how to of leadership.  Wow, that might be a lot of information on one single subject, but the fact of the matter is many people are looking for someone to lead and mentor them.

My goal for writing this article is to bring clarity on the importance of leadership and that everyone has the potential, the seed within to rise and lead others to a higher ground.  Dale Galloway stated, “Some leaders want to make followers, I want to make leaders.  Not only do I want to make leaders, but leaders of leaders, and then leaders of leaders of leaders!”

During a small group discussion on leading, I found it important to ask the question, what is leadership, and what does it look like? The following are the top three answers given during this discussion.

  • Being in Charge
  • Leading a Group of People
  • Influencing People

What Leadership is:

I use to think that leaders were just born, but through life experiences I learned that a leader is one who is developed.  Being a leader has nothing to do with having a title or a position.

Stop for a moment and think about the times you have influenced or even mentored others. I bet there were many times when you had to solve a problem, get the family organized to go on a trip, or even make a big decision when there were two or more people involved. Without you even realizing it, you were leading people, mobilizing others to get extraordinary things done.

Therefore, I believe leadership is seeing the value in every person.  Leadership is not about getting the task complete but, “mentoring a relational experience where one person improves another with God-given resources.” ~ John Maxwell 

The Leadership Challenge” by Kouzes & Posner makes a great statement in the preface of their book: “The Leadership Challenge is about how leaders mobilize others to want to get extraordinary things done in organizations.  It’s about the practices leaders use to transform values into actions, visions into realities, obstacles into innovations, separateness into solidarity and risk into rewards.  It’s about leadership that creates the climate in which people turn challenging opportunities into remarkable successes.”

As a leader the wisest investment we could ever make is to mentor future leaders by organizing, inspiring, training and equipping people to become the best and to accomplish and reach those goals they might have thought as unattainable.  Leaders help others to see the mountain of gold within and help mine it out to the surface!

There are numerous books, websites, articles, magazines, and conference’s to attend on how to become a better leader.  I highly suggest to anyone who is a supervisor, manager, pastor, minister, husband, father or even a college student to read “The Leadership Challenge.”  If you have questions on leading, I believe it will help unveil Leadership, the importance of Leadership and how to become a better Leader.

If we think about our everyday life and those we interact with, I bet there are countless opportunities for each of us to make a difference.

Why is Leadership Important

For instance, there are opportunities to:

  • Provide direction and support to our family and co-workers during unstable times.
  • Set a positive example of what honesty and ethics means in daily life.
  • Find a way to balance our lives with work and family
  • Provide a safe place for our children to learn and grow
  • Encourage and mentor young men and women that are struggling or  have no family
  • Help your spouse start a business, find their passion, lose weight, be the best they can be.
  • Encourage your children and relative’s to go for their dreams
  • Start a business that solves a problem in the society we live in.

We live in a time that people are needed to seize opportunities to lead others to greatness.  People are crying out for a mentor, an effective leader in their lives today. Leadership is not only reserved for a few charismatic men and women. It is ordinary people who bring forth the best from themselves and others.  I believe your the one who can create change, solve problems, lead and mentor those who are waiting for you to help them be all they were created to be!

MCSig What is Leadership and Why is it Important

If you are looking for more information on Leadership these resources can be helpful.

 

Posted in Leadership
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Matt Caiozzo Hi I am Matt
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